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Failure is an option.

Do you ever know something is going to fail before you even fully talk yourself into doing said something? Yeah, that happened. I guess I get points for trying, right?

I’m okay with this particular failure, because I’m strangely optimistic that something much better might be coming my way. You didn’t know I could be so cheerfully optimistic, did you? I’m full of surprises. Well, let’s not call me optimistic (as it makes me feel dirty), let’s just say I’m temporarily non-pessimistic. Yeah, that’s better.

 

An attempt at some pretty radical change.

I’m going to give this a shot. It might fail. It might not.

I guess we’ll see how it turns out. 

There. I said it.

You know what they say… You fall off that horse, you gotta get back on, or something like that.

I think we can all agree that I kind of fell of that horse called dating, but I’m not sure I’m ready to get back on. Plus, I’ve never really liked horses. As a little girl, I never, ever wanted a pony. I’ve never even been on a horse. I know what you’re thinking, I’m going a little too far with the horse jokes, and you’re right. I’ll stop.

Here’s the deal. I don’t need to be in a relationship. The only thing you need in life is air, water, food, and a cute dog (Fiona plug!). I do think it might be neat to eventually get back on that horse. So, why does dating have to be so complicated and annoying. Maybe I’m doing it wrong.

Hey, I’ve read “He’s Just Not That Into You”, and I’ve seen the movie (Ben Affleck was dreamy, huh?). And yet, here we are, you and I, still just as confused and single as ever (if you’re not single, just nod your head and smile and try to keep up).

I think I need to read books along the lines of “Hey, Stupid, He Is Into You!”, or maybe “Wow, I Can’t Tell If He’s Into You Either: That’s a completely messed up situation, girl.” Actually, those sound like horrible books. (No one steal my titles, though.)

Confusing, right?!

Oh, the fine art of being able to tell if someone ‘likes likes’ you. That’s a tricky subject, and allow me to assure you, I am not the one to ask. I have a hard time with this one. Is said wonderful dude just being friendly with me by listening to my bullshit and responding with some of his own, or is there a little more there? I don’t know. I can sit and dissect something for an eternity and still be 50/50 on it. Skills!

I know what you’re thinking now. Hey, dumbass, why not just ask the person in question? Ooh, well aren’t you the brave soul! Look, it’s not that easy sometimes. Especially if it’s with someone that you’d rather not mess things up with. As I type that, I realize that I’m being stupid. Aren’t things already a little skewed if you’re pining over them in some sort of  crush way and they just don’t feel the same about you? What’s to mess up? Even though my logical way of thinking does  actually make sense to me, I’m probably still not going to take my own sound advice. I blame the ovaries.

That’s the problem with issues of the heart meat, it makes you stupid. And, let’s face it, I just said ‘heart meat’, so I’m pretty stupid to begin with.

So, am I going to get back up on that horse and attempt to date? Or maybe I’ll finally be brave and put my cards on the table? Meh. Who’s to say? Oh, right. Me. I’ll get back to you. (My guess is that I’ll probably just continue to be content with blogging my fun thoughts and watching episodes of Home Improvement while drinking cheap red wine.)

Aww, dog love.

There’s a country song (Billy Currington- Like My Dog) that goes on about how the dude would like his lady to love him like his dog does.

“When I come home, I want you to just go crazy
He never looks at me like he might hate me
I want you to love me like my dog”

I can see what he’s saying. My dog does some pretty awesome things as well.

– She likes when I sing to her. Well, I mean, she doesn’t hate it. I think she likes nineties R&B songs the best. Any dude would probably tell me to shut my trap when I’m doing a riveting rendition of  All 4 Love by Color Me Badd.

– A guy might be annoyed that I lay diagonally in the bed, but not the dog. She just sweetly grunts at me if I’m in her way, and always gives me a few warning kicks if I’m too fidgety before giving up and going out to the couch.

-She eats all the food I don’t want. What the hell are those weird things in the Chex Mix? I don’t know, but the dog loves them. Drop something on the floor and offer it to your fella, and he might be insulted, but offer it to the dog and she’ll graciously accept it.

-She always wants to cuddle and always lets me pick what we watch on tv.

I'm pretty sure we've got a good thing going here.

Oh, honey, you baked…

I like to pretend I can succeed in the kitchen sometimes, so I popped some cookies in the oven. Then I started watching tv and forget all about them, allowing them to come to a beautiful, slightly burnt state.

Calm down; they taste much worse than they look.

I drew a hand turkey.

It has a hat! I'm impressed by me, too.